American Airlines

Paper tickets dripping with covid. Their app doesn’t even have boarding pass capability! They informed me there would be no food or drink on the plane because the flight attendants are scared of getting sick. Delta was handing out pre-made bags with snacks and drinks on my flights last week. Any guesses on the first Airline to fold in America? #NobodyTreatsRalphsThisWay

On a better note, my farm fresh eggs made it through TSA’s security check. She asked me to open them. I told her no. I didn’t want her filthy hands compromising the eggs’ natural bloom so they will stay fresh at sea. #WhenRalphsSpeakTSAListens